Christmas After Divorce (Sept – Dec 1994)

By Matt Dabbs

by Anonymous
September – December, 1994

I awoke this morning to the quiet of an empty house. There were no sounds of Christmas. No pitter of anxious feet running to look under the tree. No rustling of paper as the gifts are quickly unwrapped. No shrieks of glee as the children finally see what they had been anticipating. This is my first quiet Christmas.

Then the Ghost of Christmases Past comes drifting into my mind and I see scenes of days gone by. I have regrets that I did not seize those moments. That I was too concerned about little things. That I did not live those moments to the fullest. I also see the happy faces of Christmases of the past. It’s in the eyes. The innocence, the unadulterated joy of living, the security. I hear the laughter. I feel the bodies as they hug me and say, “Thank you for the presents.” Yes, all these things are past.

“It will get better,” he says. “Oh, I know it will,” I reply, “it already is getting better.” But, somewhere deep inside I wonder, “Will it, really?”

I begin, once again, to reflect on the first days. I remember how difficult it was just to get out of bed and move through the day. It was so hard! But they were there for me. They held my hand, wrote me notes, sent me food, called just to say, “I love you and I’m thinking about you.” They hugged me, cried with me, and prayed for me. They listened, they encouraged, they supported. No one judged. They just loved me.

He was there, too! Sometimes He was closer than at other times (but that was my fault). He was loving me with His unfailing love through every heartache and every tear. He was there when the days were good and when the days were bad. Every second of every day. Even when I did not feel Him, He was there. He comforted me with His presence, His Word, and His people. He loved me. He never failed me! That’s what He promised.

So, as I sit here in my Christmas morning pain, I am comforted by His presence and looking forward to spending the day with special people who are willing to open their lives and share their special day with me.

By the way, as I talked to Him this morning, He reminded me of His promises and love. And as I look to Christmases yet to be, I now know that “it will get better.”Wineskins Magazine

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Profile photo of Matt DabbsThis author published 1577 posts in this site.
Matt is the preaching minister at the Auburn Church of Christ in Auburn, Alabama. He and Missy have been married 12 years and are raising two wonderful boys, Jonah and Elijah. Matt is passionate about reaching and discipling young adults, small groups, and teaching. Matt is currently the editor and co-owner of Wineskins.org.

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